Two Halves Make Two Wholes
by CaptainMatchMaker
Summary: Two unexpected things occur in the effort to reunite Jackie Burkhart and Steven Hyde
1. Behind Blue Eyes

**Jackie Burkhart and Steven Hyde wish more than anything that their relationship hadn't ended. That all the bad things would've never happened. It begins immediately where the series finale left off, a minute after the clock hits midnight. The first few chapters deal with the agony our favorite couple is going through; it'll only be the really angsty part of the story. A primarily angst free story might seem boring but after all these young lovers experienced at the hands of the retarded show writers, they deserve happy times. I assure you though, a LOT is going happen. This is my first fic, so try to go easy on me. Now, let's get started.**

Disclaimer: I don't own That 70s Show or its characters…if I did, it would've ended on a much happier note. I also don't own any of the music I've selected for this fic.

A/N: In this chapter and throughout the ones to follow, I'll be including 70s music. Part of the reason I liked That 70s Show was because the characters favorite music is some of mine too. I was a big fan of Zeppelin, The Stones, The Who, etc. long before I started watching the show, and I liked how my generation (those of us born in the 80s) began taking an interest in the music of that era. Some of the songs in this story will be ones the characters are listening to on the radio. Some songs the characters won't even hear; it'll be something that sets the mood. Think of it as a movie soundtrack :) The first of those is The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes" which is the chapter title. FYI, the title of this fanfic comes from lyrics in "The Speed of Love" by Rush from their 1993 album "Counterparts".

**January 1****st****, 1980**

**12:01 A.M.**

Steven and Jackie sat on opposite sides of the Forman's living room, oblivious to the New Year's celebration. They tried their best not to look in each other's direction, but they both stole a few glances when one of them wasn't looking. His head bent over and his glasses off, Steven dried his tears as he thought of the last several months. He felt terrible about how he'd treated Jackie; he didn't notice at that moment Jackie was likewise hiding her tears. The two wanted so badly to go to each other and renew their love, but something seemed to hold them back and it wasn't reluctance. Both Jackie and Steven, at that moment felt they didn't have the energy to stand, let alone comfort each other. They felt so drained, as if they were going to vanish from the world entirely. Steven looked over at Donna and Eric, seated on the couch with their arms around each other kissing like crazy. Secretly, Steven had always admired them for being openly affectionate and honest in their relationship.

"_For all the insults I gave my adoptive brother about how it isn't "manly" to be affectionate to Donna, I really don't believe that about Eric. I think he's more of a man than I can hope to be, especially regarding girls. I could've been more loving to Jackie, but it was "manly"…or so I thought."_

Across the room, Kelso was trying to squeeze himself into Red's usual chair where Jackie was now seated. If this wasn't annoying her enough, Kelso, in his typical fashion, asked her if she wanted to have sex with him. Jackie snapped a very emphatic negative response at him; she shoved him off her, headed through the kitchen and out to the driveway.

Steven was disgusted by what he saw, "_I've had enough of that moron…I should've been more pissed by all that he did to Jackie and me…well…it's time he got it shoved through his thick skull and saw what he's done." _He got up from his seat on the piano bench and walked over to Kelso, trying to summon all his willpower to keep him from punching the perverted doofus. Leo, in conversation with Bob, looked concerned as Steven walked by, but the younger man wasn't interested in what the aging hippie may have been thinking. Steven punched Kelso on the arm and said through gritted teeth "Leave Jackie alone! the basement…. Now!...we need to talk… "

They went down into the basement and Steven turned to face the guy he hated more and more with each passing minute. Kelso, not detecting his friend's anger, asked "Crap, Hyde what was that for?"

Steven was glad he had his glasses back on; he may have been mad as hell, but his tears still remained. It seemed even in the rare times he put his emotions on display, his friends still didn't understand him…or want to understand him.

"You're asking what it was for?! I couldn't have made it clearer!!! You, Donna, Eric and Fez, none of you ever took me seriously!!! It was always, 'oh look Hyde's showing us his feelings', but that's as far as you guys looked! None of you ever care about what I feel let alone try to realize what it's like to be me and all of you were quick to judge me!!"

**No one knows whats it's like**

**To be the bad man**

**To be the sad man**

**Behind blue eyes**

"None of you ever accepted Jackie and I as a couple, and you! YOU WERE WORST OF ALL!!!! I SHOULD BEAT YOU TO A PULP FOR WHAT YOU DID TO US!!!!"

**No one knows what it's like**

**To be hated**

**To be fated**

**To telling only lies**

"Okay, so this is about what I asked her just now," said Kelso. "C'mon it was a courtesy thing."

**But my dreams…**

**They aren't as empty**

**As my conscience seems**

**To be**

**I have hours only lonely**

**My love is vengeance**

**That's never free**

"Dammit why the hell do you keep harassing Jackie?!?!?! You've damaged her so much over the years, she's just a shell of what she once was!!! SHE WAS MY ENTIRE WORLD!! YOU BROKE US UP NOT ONCE BUT TWICE!!!!"

**No one knows what it's like**

**To feel these feelings**

**Like I do**

**And I blame you**

Kelso stupidly responded, "Well that's why I asked her if I could sleep with her, ya know, to cheer her up"

**No one bites back as hard**

**On their anger**

**None of my pain or woe**

**Can show through**

Steven grew even more pissed. "Son of a bitch Kelso!! When you will understand?!?! SHE'S NOT LIKE THAT!!!!!! Jackie is the most beautiful girl to ever exist; she's smart, she's fun to be with, she knows exactly what she wants in life…she is so incredibly sweet but you think of her and treat her the same way as those whores at the club you work at!!! YOU ALWAYS HAVE!!! YOU USED HER FOR YOUR STUPID SEXUAL URGES AND THEN YOU TOSSED HER ASIDE AS IF SHE WAS NOTHING!!!! HOW COULD YOU?!?! I ALWAYS RESPECTED HER AND NEVER PRESSURED HER ABOUT ANY OF THAT!!!!

**But my dreams…**

**They aren't as empty**

**As my conscience seems**

**To be**

**I have hours only lonely**

**My love is vengeance**

**That's never free**

I used to think you were just stupid but now I realize you don't respect her…YOU NEVER DID!!!" Steven threw his glasses at the wall so hard they broke. He wanted Kelso to pay attention to his mad eyes, to make him see this wasn't a joke whatsoever.

**When my fist clenches crack it open**

**Before I use it and lose my cool**

**When I smile tell me some bad news**

**Before I laugh and act like a fool**

"Don't you EVER lay a hand on her again, don't even attempt it…I don't know if she'll ever be comfortable speaking to me again or to even be in the same room as me, but Jackie Burkhart will always be the most special person to me…I'll never stop respecting her, I will never stop loving her and I will kill you if you so much as think of taking advantage of her!!! Now piss off Kelso!!!!"

**And if I swallow anything evil **

**Put your finger down my throat **

**And if I shiver please give me a blanket **

**Keep me warm let me wear your coat**

Kelso, evidently, still didn't get it because he laughed, "Ah, c'mon Hyde quit talkin all that crap, let's go cruisin for chicks!"

Steven's anger reached the boiling point. "WEREN'T YOU LISTENING SHITHEAD?!?! OUR FRIENDSHIP IS OVER!!!! LEAVE AND NEVER SHOW YOUR DAMN FACE HERE AGAIN!!!! FUCK OFF!!!!"

For the first time ever, Kelso didn't have a comeback, a burn, or a word of any kind to say. He looked at Steven's furious eyes and arrived at the conclusion that the best thing was to stay quiet and get the hell outta dodge. Which he did at once.

**No one knows what it's like**

**To be the bad man**

**To be the sad man**

**Behind blue eyes**

**A/N: And that's the first chapter. I know, it probably seems stupid to have included the song, but I think it says everything that needs to be said about Mr. Hyde, our emotionally broken friend who I really feel for. Anyway, please R&R! I'd appreciate it! Up next: Steven is angry at Kelso for his role in breaking him apart from Jackie, but he feels angrier and even more disappointed at himself.**


	2. It Could've Been Then pt 1

**Back for the second chapter. This one will show Steven's innermost thoughts and everything he's kept to himself. It's long, I apologize, but there's a reason for it.**

**January 1****st****, 1980**

**12:07 A.M.**

After Kelso left the basement, Steven began to calm down as best as he could. Then the remorse began to set in, but not about what took place moments before. As far as he was concerned Michael Kelso, one of his two best friends since first grade, had "died" a long time ago; the guy he'd been yelling at was certainly not the same guy he grew up with. No, Steven's remorse was about Jackie, the only girl he ever loved…the girl he still loved. She probably wouldn't give them another chance, but he prayed it would happen.

"_As pissed as I am at Kelso, it's only a fraction of what I feel toward myself," _Steven thought. _"But that has to change. I have to go to Jackie...right now. I have to apologize and tell her the truth that I've never stopped loving her. That I want us to…"_

He brought his hands up to forehead, to try and stop the throbbing pain that suddenly began. Everything he'd done in the last several months was eating away at what was left of his very soul. "I wish this nightmare will end," he said softly as he wiped away the tears that kept filling his eyes, "I've got to lie down…I can barely move."

Steven walked, with some difficulty, into his room and closed the door behind him. He kicked off his shoes and collapsed onto his bed. He opened the drawer of his bedside table and took out a small leather-bound photo album; turning to the first page, he saw a moment frozen in time of Jackie and himself when he took her to the prom a few years before. It was the first time he and the very petite brunette approached the realm of romance; then he began to reminisce about the love of his life:

"_That night, was the night she started calling me 'Steven'. I'd never liked my first name, but hearing it from her sweet voice…it was different. She did something none of my friends ever did, and I couldn't help but admire her for it. She was the only one to see that I was really human. I really loved dancing with her that night…she was the most beautiful girl there. Even at the time, Jackie meant a lot to me, though I never told her."_

Steven's eyes began to water because of what he neglected to tell Jackie. Not just the prom, but so much more.

"_Why didn't I tell her how much I liked her…it couldn't have been difficult. Earlier that night, I told her how beautiful she was then she kissed me on my cheek…and then being the world's biggest moron I said "okay lets not do that"…I wish I pretended I hadn't said it and kissed her…oh God…her lips…so perfect. But that doesn't compare to the worst of it: I let her go back to Kelso that night. I knew that he'd hurt her again someday, and I still let her go to him. How could I have done such a thing…"_

The answer, sadly, was the root of pretty much all his problems.

"_Why? So I could maintain my stupid sense of pride, my rep, and my zen. And what did all that ever do for me? NOTHING. It wasn't my childhood that defined me as a teenager…I was just so damn apathetic and it was because I chose to be. I totally lost my soul. I didn't want to care about anyone; I mocked people and laughed if they were hurt in any way and I did that to Jackie when we were younger. The Kelso-Laurie thing happened later and I helped Jackie; after that she became attached to me. She really liked me but I rejected her for so long…"_

He remembered more difficult events...and he tried to keep himself together.

"…_she thought it was because she was too much of an innocent schoolgirl. But I liked that about her. I only worried about, well…it was when we went on our first date, she hit the nail on the head about me wondering if I was worthy of love. That was it…that's why I didn't want to get close to her, yet I wanted to so badly…she was so gorgeous. Jackie could see through me…she figured out my fear, but I treated it all as a joke. My doubts were shaken later by our first kiss…it was the best I ever had. Right away she said she felt nothing; I realize now what she was doing, she thought I wouldn't want to be her boyfriend. Like…we had our date and that's all I would want. But it wasn't true; I wanted to be with her. When she said those words, I thought she had given up on me. So I lied and said I hadn't feel anything either. There was a moment…just a moment when I saw disappointment in her eye. That was my chance to tell Jackie the truth, that I wanted us to be together…but I didn't say anything, I was stupid and not only for that reason. I let her go back to Kelso…again…"_

Then came the fateful summer.

"…_but it wasn't much longer until Jackie dumped Kelso for good. She finally became my girlfriend and things seemed cool. Well, not all things. The idiot she left became a recurring problem, and he wouldn't have been, that is, if a certain few people hadn't thrown their two cents in…"_

Steven felt a surge of anger just thinking about his friends' "advice".

"…_I really believe the first mistake Jackie and I made together, was when we did what Eric and Donna told us to do about Kelso. They kept going on and on with 'Kelso deserves to know' and all that crap. Unlike them, Fez understood us from the beginning, and for that we were grateful, he's weird at times but always a good friend. Jackie and I believed that Kelso didn't deserve an explanation. He broke her heart, she ended things with him, now she was with me, end of discussion. I can't believe we so much as listened to Donna and Eric…especially after they called Jackie and me "creepy and unnatural". And I still can hear all that "opposites attract" talk from everyone. We got so sick of that; the fact is, Jackie and me…we're similar in more ways than I can count. Even now, when we've been apart, we haven't lost what we have in common. We've always been misunderstood by our friends…to them I'm still the stoner who lives in the basement. As for Jackie, they think she's still the same bitchy cheerleader. Even years ago, I knew Jackie wasn't like that…she only bragged about having money, cause that's all she had…her home life definitely wasn't good. Shit, the one time I figured 'well maybe my friends have a point' it turned out to be wrong. Jackie and I both told Kelso…we gave in to what he wanted, and it gave him resolve to try to steal my girlfriend…"_

He thought about the real reason he was angry at Kelso.

"…_When he did that, jealously wasn't all I felt…it made me think of all the times he disrespected Jackie back when she was seeing him. Despite that, she still talked to him as if nothing ever happened. THAT is what really burned me up inside. I used to believe in karma, essentially 'if you're a good person, then your life will be good.' Kelso didn't deserve Jackie's attention, but he had it anyway…totally pissed me off. So much for thinking karma is real. I was mad at Jackie as well…3 of our 4 breakups involved Kelso, but now that I think about it and see what it's led to today, I realize that it wasn't Jackie's fault. She never loved him; I'm positive she never even liked him…but it's like he had a sort of power over her, long after they split. He continued to make sexual remarks toward her… it scared Jackie so much, though that part I didn't realize then. If I had, everything would've been different…I'd have been there to protect her, and I would've seen that I had no reason to feel all my insecurities. Overall, Kelso was a surprisingly small problem, as compared to my own damn screw ups…but for Jackie and me, it was smooth sailing for quite a while."_

He recalled the happier times.

"_I have to say, looking back on it, I was really becoming a better person. I was considerate to Jackie, opening doors, holding out chairs for her and whatnot. I gave her gifts…the one she liked most was my favorite Zeppelin shirt, which she looked so hot wearing… I started to tolerate all the disco and pop music she likes…I enjoyed every moment of our make out sessions…I really loved her, though I rarely told her those three sacred words, even going out of my way to add 'I won't say it every day,'. Now I know they're not mere words…it's everything a relationship should be rooted in. If we were back together, I'd tell Jackie every moment of the day how much I love her."_

Steven's happiness had faded by now.

"_After all that Jackie had brought into my life…I still wouldn't lay my attitude to rest. We had communication problems; I never wanted to talk about anything serious. I stopped being a good boyfriend because of all that. I thought only of the 'here and now'…never of a future with the girl of my dreams. I figured 'if it happens, it happens, there's no need to think about the future.' But that's what ruined everything. I took Jackie for granted; she noticed so she tried to get through to me, thus the fake engagement to Fez occurred. Afterward, she asked me if we would have a future together but I told her she was making a big deal about nothing. Now I know we're meant to be together…my destiny is her. She wasn't pressuring me into marriage by any means despite what the others thought. All I said to her was "I don't know"…so stupid of me…I didn't see how cold I had become, or more importantly how I was throwing my life away. I wouldn't destroy my zen and tell her "yes", even as she cried… then she said…"_

Thinking of Jackie's tears made him cry …tears that had been hidden for so long now found their way out.

"…_oh God…its so painful to remember her voice…to hear how hurt and broken she was…she told me she loved me and she wanted to be with me always…she didn't want a lavish lifestyle, all she wanted was me… still I wouldn't say "yes"…all I did was snap at her, which made her feel worse. Jacqueline Beulah Burkhart…the girl damaged emotionally by Kelso…the girl I took care of after her parents abandoned her…the girl I still love, though it probably doesn't mean anything to her now…all she wanted to know was if I, the man she loved, would be with her forever. She knew she wouldn't have to afraid anymore…and she'd always be protected by her knight in shining armor…"_

Steven's tears ceased, as he glanced back to the photo album and saw he had missed a page. He turned to it and looked with wide eyes at a photograph he'd nearly forgotten about. It was when he and Jackie met, over four years ago.

"_Of course…Mrs. Forman took this picture," _he thought, _"it was the school football game in the fall of 1975, that was shortly before Kelso started going out with Jackie. He introduced her to me and the gang that night…except Fez, he didn't come to America til a few months later…"_

His thoughts trailed off as he looked closer at the pic and marveled at the younger Jackie, a week short of her 15th birthday. Steven smiled for the first time in the New Year (he hadn't smiled for a long time actually). Tears dripped from his eyes again, but they were happy ones for a change.

"_Jackie looks so young, well that's cause she was young…she was a freshman then, and i gotta say she looks sexy in her cheerleader uniform. Wow, we're both smiling and it doesn't look forced…couldn't have been for Mrs. Forman's benefit, she told to say "YAY VIKINGS!"…nah, we would've had weird looks then…that just wasn't funny. I wonder why Jackie and me look happy…was it something we talked about? I don't remember…still, that night was great for us…weird considering we didn't get along in the months to follow._ _That night was my first chance…Kelso wasn't with her yet…That night we met…it could've been then_..._"_

Steven studied the photo further and smiled again as he thought of his affectionate name for Jackie.

"_I can't believe how hot my little Pixie was, even at 14…she's second to none…just like today…I could go on and on describing her hair, her skin…how gorgeous she is. But it's her eyes that attract me to her most…one blue, one green…special and beautiful…like everything else about her. I loved looking into my Jackie's eyes as I held her…I could've done that forever…because she's the only woman for me…"_

His face fell and the tears came back at full force, then he spoke softly, "I wish none of the bad things ever happened…that stupid nurse…Kelso and all he did to turn me against Jackie…the Vegas skank…no…no…I can't face my life…it's all darkness, and it's because of me…I love her so much…Jackie's so frightened of life after all she went through…all she wanted was for me to protect her and love her forever…to love me in return…she wanted to marry me, she wanted to be Mrs. Steven Hyde…if I had listened to my feelings, Jackie and I would be beside each other now sharing a kiss as husband and wife……I wish all that would happen…it's what I want…I know now it's what I want, but I wouldn't destroy the zen…I hate zen, I hate it!...it only hurt me, it never helped me and now it lost me my only chance to escape the darkness…I rejected my knighthood," He felt pain unlike any other. "…I turned away from my princess…"

Steven's tears intensified as he held the picture of his lover close, put his head against his pillow and sobbed.

**A/N: Chapter complete, at last. Again my apologies that it was drawn out and filled with regret, but Steven laying his feelings on the table is a crucial element for the rest of the story to occur. What will happen to him now that he has all that off his chest? He's made a breakthrough…but has the past broken him? Please Please Please R&R. The next chapter will be Jackie's confrontation with Kelso…and it's NOT gonna be pretty.**


	3. What You Are

**Thanks to everyone who responded. I have the next few chapters already on paper, now all I need to do is type them. After they're posted, then everything will REALLY begin; exposition is tough to do, but it's essential for any story…there is much more to this fic than Steven and Jackie dealing with their emotional turmoil. The song I'm including for this chapter, "What You Are" by Audioslave is obviously not 70s music…but Chris Cornell is one of my favorite singers of all time and his lyrics speak to me in a profound way. This song describes a person who was in a bad relationship and finally decides to kick their ex out of their life once and for all; I was listening to it as I wrote this chapter, and it made sense that Jackie would feel this way about her time with Kelso.**

**January 1****st****, 1980**

**12:07 A.M.**

Jackie stood in the Forman's driveway staring at the stars, her luscious raven hair flowing from side to side in the chilly wind. She thought about how inconsiderate Kelso was; about Leo and how he looked at her with concern earlier. _"How can an old filthy hippie like him possibly have any concern for me, let alone understand my concerns?"_she thought.

Most of all her mind dwelled on the guy she still loved. Tears filled her eyes as memories of the past few months ate away at what was left of her very soul. Steven had been so cruel to her, it was hard to imagine that he had once been kind to her…still, it wasn't hard at all. He was the only man she'd ever loved. If things hadn't gone so tragically wrong, they'd be together on this night…the first of the new decade.

"What happened to my Steven?" she asked herself as she cried, "it was all circumstance that broke us up, he's been horrible to me since then but I miss him so much…God, I love him, I've never stopped loving him…I wish more than anything that this nightmare will end…"

Kelso walked up behind Jackie, having just left the basement after Steven told him to get out. In a tactless voice he said "Well, you still have me to fool around with!"

Jackie didn't want to look at him or speak to him by any means. "Leave me alone Kelso," she snapped, feeling tempted to kill him for ruining her and Steven's love.

Kelso seemed slightly offended. "What, no 'Michael'? Why are you so mad anyway?"

Jackie turned to face him, her fury growing by the second and screamed, "YOU CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT?! IT'S BECAUSE I WASTED YEARS OF MY LIFE ON YOU!! I was vulnerable and stupid enough to believe you even gave a damn about me!! I only went out with you to impress the other cheerleaders but all that happened was that you treated me like shit!!! Now I understand that I've never had any real feelings for you and its all the more clear to me because you've ruined my entire life!!!! You turned Steven and I against each other!!!"

**And when you wanted me**

**I came…to you**

**And when you wanted someone else**

**I…withdrew**

Kelso looked confused and annoyed, "You think Hyde is better than me? He never offered you what I can offer…for example, I'm great in - "

Jackie wasn't about to let him finish that abomination of a sentence, "HE ACTUALLY RESPECTED ME!! UNLIKE YOU!! You were obsessed with sex and cheating on me at every chance you got!! The only time you acted like you cared for me were the times you begged me for money or favors!!"

**And when you asked for light**

**I…set myself on fire**

**And if I go…far away**

**I know you'll find another slave**

**Cause now I'm free from what you want**

**Now I'm free from what you need**

**Now I'm free from what you are**

"Steven is the sweetest, strongest, most handsome guy to ever exist…he was my entire world and you are the reason he won't speak to me!!! What you did to me at the motel in Chicago, ALL OF IT IS YOUR FAULT!!!"

Kelso played dumb, as if he actually expected her to fool around with him if he convinced her enough. "Why didn't we do it that night anyway? You two weren't together…"

**And when you wanted blood**

**I cut…my veins**

**And when you wanted love**

**I bled myself again**

"You pervert!!!," Jackie shrieked, "You were like this toward me since day one!!! I didn't want all that, so you cheated on me with every whore alive!!! Then I left you, and you acted like you meant nothing by it!!! I got together with Steven, and you did everything to drive us apart… you made him leave me twice by making him think I was with you!!!" Her voice started to break as she became sad and tears became visible as she continued, somewhat oblivious that she was saying this to someone she despised. "I left for Chicago that day thinking Steven didn't want a future with me…then he showed up at the motel…it was the most romantic thing…I knew he'd changed his mind…but you made him think I was with you…"

**Now that I've had my fill of you**

**I'll give you up forever**

**And here I go…far away**

**I know you'll…you'll find another slave**

**Cause now I'm free from what you want**

**Now I'm free from what you need**

**Now I'm free from what you are**

Jackie's angry tone returned, "All the good in my life was shattered!!! NOW YOU EXPECT ME TO THROW MYSELF AT YOU?!?! YOU ARE SUCH A DIPSHIT!!!! I don't know if he'll ever be comfortable speaking to me or even being in the same room as me but Steven Hyde will always be the most special person to me, and I will never stop loving him!!! AND YOU KELSO ARE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BUT DIRT ON MY SHOES YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!!"

**Then a vision came to me**

**When you came along**

**I gave you everything**

**But then you wanted more**

**Cause now I'm free from what you want**

**Now I'm free from what you need**

**Now I'm free from what you are**

Kelso laughed nervously. "C'mon Jackie, you're talking crazy, you know you want it, so - "

Rage, absolute rage filled Jackie's heterochromic eyes and made her beautiful face nearly unrecognizable as she slammed her fist against Kelso's chin. He collapsed to the pavement and she kicked him continuously yelling in a voice that didn't sound like hers, "I HATE YOU!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!! IF YOU TRY TO FOLLOW ME, YOU'RE DEAD!!!!! AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT JUST SAY THE WORDS AND IT'S OVER!!!!!"

**Hey**

**Now I'm free from what you want**

**Now I'm free from what you need**

**Now I'm free from what you are**

His chin bleeding, Kelso looked up with genuine fear etched into his face as he watched Jackie storm off toward the Pinciotti house. He definitely wasn't going to try anything now.

**A/N: Well, what did you think? A little feedback would be appreciated. In the next chapter (I'm sure you've already guessed there's a pattern) Jackie will have to face her inner demons. **


	4. It Could've Been Then pt 2

**This chapter is a companion to the second, only this time it's Jackie sorting out her problems.**

**January 1****st****, 1980**

**12:10 A.M.**

Jackie left Kelso's bleeding, beaten figure behind and stormed off to the Pinciotti house. She went inside and let her anger leave her as she thought, _"It'd be easy to blame everything on Kelso, but that's not the truth…he's only one factor." _She went upstairs to the room that she, once again, was sharing with Donna. The girls hadn't fully reconciled after everything that had happened…Donna's acceptance of the Vegas whore being the biggest problem.

Despite that, Jackie couldn't bring herself to hate Donna. _"She became distant from me…but she's the sister I never had and Donna has told me the same thing. That's really made a difference, I was glad to be a part of her family, and I don't mean only Bob, but the Formans' too. They all welcomed me with open arms and loved me as if I was one of them, which is more than I can say for my parents. I've always envied Donna, not just for her personality, but for her boyfriend too. Eric and I aren't always polite to each other, but he's a terrific guy and someone I can always trust. _

_For all the insults I've given them, Donna and Eric are the ideal couple, the kind that others should strive to be like. Those two have never been afraid of being themselves, and that's why they're back together. If I hadn't constantly mocked them, I'd have learned from them long ago about how important communication is. And because of that, Steven and I aren't with each other anymore."_

Jackie had moved back in with Donna and Bob a few days before, having ended her brief fling with Fez. Deep down she realized (as she had when it started) he wasn't the one, he was only a friend, nothing more. So she left the apartment they'd shared; Fez genuinely understood why and gave her his best wishes that she would reunite with the one she loved. It was good to be back in a more familiar place. Jackie didn't know if Steven would give them another chance, but she prayed it would happen. She felt it best to be near him; at least it would help her remember the good times when she was feeling sad, which was constantly.

"_I have to go to Steven right now," _Jackie thought, _"I have to tell him everything I feel and how much I love him, I…" _ A sharp pain throbbed in her forehead and she felt weak all over. _"…I've got to lie down…I can barely move"_

She lay down on her old cot, turned on a nearby lamp and took her photo album out of her suitcase. Turning the pages, Jackie found a picture that was the most special to her of herself and Steven, the one taken at his junior prom.

Jackie started to cry as she remembered that night: _"I realized then as we danced, how different he was from Kelso. Sure we hadn't been the best of friends, but Steven was kind and respectful to me that night…he looked really cute in that tux; I wish I had gone with what my heart told me…that I tell Steven how much I liked him. God, I was stupid…I went back to Kelso and forgave his lying cheating worthless ass only to get hurt again. Then once more I turned to Steven, but I acted like a little schoolgirl with a crush; he rejected me because of that. I didn't explain to him why I wanted him to be my boyfriend, and I didn't explain everything I felt on prom night._

_Even when we had our first date and shared our first kiss, I still wouldn't say a word. I lied to him and said I didn't feel anything, but oh God, it was just the opposite…it was the best kiss of my life. I understand now why I lied; it was because I was convinced he wouldn't want to be with me…as if he'd say 'all right we've been on a date, that's that'. Then he said he hadn't felt anything, but out of the corner of my eye for a moment…just for a moment I saw how disappointed Steven looked and I started to feel disappointment of my own. That was my chance to tell him the truth, but my mouth STILL stayed shut…and AGAIN I went back to Kelso, though this time it wasn't for long._

_That summer I broke up with Kelso, and I started getting closer to Steven. At first I thought it would only be a fling, but he told me he wanted to be with me. I couldn't have been happier…now Kelso was just an object in the rear view mirror. Of course, Eric and Donna had to start with all that 'You have to tell Kelso, Kelso deserves to know' bullshit. What the hell was so difficult to understand? Kelso tossed me aside and I broke up with him, it was that simple. He didn't deserve an explanation about Steven and I. All he and the others needed to do was accept us. Fez supported us though, saying how he liked witnessing 'forbidden love'…poor choice of words, but he got his message across. It pissed me off hearing all that 'opposites attract' crap…the fact is, Steven and me…we're the same in so many ways, always have been. We've both been misunderstood…Steven is considered even to this day as a heartless freeloader, and I'm still the bitchy shallow cheerleader. It's true that's what I used to be…but it was because of Kelso…his cheating on me and everything else…it drove me to insanity and made me something I wasn't. It was a mistake for us to have explained things to him. It gave him the satisfaction of getting what he wanted, and the problems would eventually follow. But for a long time I thought of nothing, except of how thankful I was that Steven liked me, at last._

_It was a welcomed change having a boyfriend who respected me, who never asked for money, and who…well, didn't make an ass of himself. I began to see that money wasn't everything; Steven showed me how the simpler things in life were enjoyable. He did a lot for me and gave me several special gifts…"_

Jackie unzipped and tossed aside her coat, which she'd been wearing over the old black Led Zeppelin T-shirt. She smiled for the first time in a long time.

"…_I like this one most…it reminds me of him because of the smell, though it's not a bad one. My boy has always smelled good and sensual. But the greatest gift he gave me were his lips, I can't begin to remember the amount of time we spent making out…it was a message to my heart…I'd found the man of my dreams and I loved him so much…I still do though it probably means nothing to him now. But I know he once loved me…I just wish I could've heard those three little words more often. It's true he had a rough childhood and he still carried a lot of scars but he wouldn't overcome at least some of them, not for me or even himself." _

She found herself drifting toward the bad memories and then came the tears.

"_And it all started going wrong when I had the fake engagement with Fez …I only did that to get Steven's attention and I told him so afterward. I told him I wanted a future with him…I wasn't pressuring him into anything, regardless of what the others thought. I only wanted to start a life with the one I loved. He thought me thinking about marriage was for us was a big deal about nothing; this is what I was afraid of most…that Steven kept taking me for granted. I kept telling him I loved him and I wanted to always be with him but he just said 'I don't know' several times and 'If we want to be together it'll happen, there's no need to think of the future.' He got so hostile. He wouldn't lower his voice, or listen to me even as I cried…my heart was so broken. That's the moment I made my worst mistake…I didn't show him my deepest feelings…all the reasons I wanted to marry him. Ultimately my part in ending our relationship was a problem that I had since prom night: I never said everything that needed to be said…"_

Jackie's tears kept streaming.

"…_Steven James Hyde, the boy who took care of me after my parents left…the boy who is still so misunderstood by our friends…the boy who showed me my inner strength…he was my knight in shining armor. Kelso was certainly not a holder of that title; looking back, I know that I didn't love him or even LIKE him…he was someone there when my home life fell apart, he used the 'L' word and I was pulled right in…it was what I wanted to hear. After all he did to me, I still spoke to him like nothing happened. Steven got mad about it…and he was right to. Kelso didn't deserve my respect, attention, or friendship. He crossed a line, and that should've been the end…but he had this control over me…I don't know how…but he could seduce me whenever he wanted, and I became helpless. It scared me…and if I had told Steven he would've put a stop to it, he would've protected me. But I didn't tell him; that's why we're not beside each other now: lack of communication. If only I could beside him now…it was always wonderful when we spent the night together…the way he held me, God I miss all that."_

Jackie turned back a few pages in the photo album and found something she hadn't seen for quite a while. Moving it closer to the lamp's light she saw that it was a picture of when she and Steven first met. Jackie smiled again, her cheeks becoming wet with tears…but they were happy ones for a change.

"_This was at the football game during the fall of my freshman year. I wasn't with Kelso then, but he introduced me to the gang that night…except Fez, he didn't get to America until the spring. Hmmm…this pic was taken a week before I turned 15…I look my usual super cute self. Oh, look at my Steven…he was so adorable! He must have been 16 then…his hair, as crazy looking as today, but it was his natural color, dirty blonde…he started dying it dark brown later, said it gave him a greasier look…but he was so cute when his hair was dirty blonde! Hmm…usual attire, his blue jean jacket and a green flannel shirt over…oh my God, it's…"_

To Jackie's amazement, the same Zeppelin shirt she wore now was the very one worn by Steven Hyde in the pic.

"…_he was wearing it the night we met…wow, we're actually smiling…I can't remember why, but it doesn't look forced…cause it really wasn't funny when Mrs. Forman told us to say 'YAY VIKINGS!'…Kitty found that hilarious for some reason…Steven and I, we really seemed to enjoy each other's company that night. Strange, considering we didn't enjoy each others company in the following months. What did we talk about at the game…I can't remember…God, his smile is sexy…rare for him to show, but nothing beats it."_

She was then drawn to his most distinctive feature.

"_He's not wearing his glasses…you can see his eyes…they're so blue, no one has such pretty eyes in the entire world, except my Puddin Pop…"_

Jackie's face fell as she burst into tears and said aloud, "I wish none of the bad things ever happened…the motel…the skank from Vegas. That night at the football game…it could've been then…I could've started dating him then, we were so happy that night…I love him so much…but I can't face life anymore…I'm frightened without him…I want to marry him and have a life with him…I want be Mrs. Steven Hyde…God why was I so stupid, why didn't I listen to my feelings…I want to kiss him again…I want him to hold me again…I lost everything…I lost my knight in shining armor…" She felt pain unlike any other, "…I lost my prince…"

Jackie's tears intensified as she held the picture of her lover close, put her head against her pillow and sobbed.

**A/N: C'mon people, I need some reviews…um, please. The reason this chapter was similar to the second chapter is because it has to be established that Jackie and Steven are on the same page, only they don't realize it. In the next chapter, we'll meet the one person who can bring them back together. **


	5. Only One Chance

**Thanks everyone for your responses, sorry for the delay! As I mentioned last time, this is the chapter where we meet the one person who can help make things right for a certain pair of lovers in Point Place. But something unexpected is happening. Read on.**

**A/N: Some parts of this are sorta supernatural, sci-fi stuff. It'll all sound weird, I'm sure, but please bear with it.**

**January 1****st****, 1980**

**12:45 A.M.**

Something went off in Leo's mind at that moment, signaling that an old friend had returned, and was quite close by. _"He's here…but why?"_Leo thought to himself. He glanced across the living room, and saw that everyone was in conversation with one another; no one would notice if he stepped away for a moment.

Before he reached the kitchen door, he stopped briefly and noticed that over at the bar, Red was listening to Eric talk about his experiences in Africa. Donna sat next to Eric, holding his hand while she used her other to stroke his hair. Leo couldn't help but smile._ "Wow man, great that they're back together, it's no wonder their best friends have always envied them…especially now." _His expression turned more serious, _"Is that what this is about? Is that why he's here?" _ The hippie didn't waste any more time and headed through the kitchen out to the driveway.

Leo saw that he was alone and looked around in confusion, until he heard a voice, "I was hoping you wouldn't get too distracted by them."

He turned around and saw the speaker a few feet away. It was a man, or rather the spirit of a man floating in midair. He was dressed completely in white and had a black goatee and black hair. Leo gave a shocked smile, "Mr. A! Didn't expect to see ya…what's happenin man?"

"Unfortunately, there are a lot of things that aren't happening," said Mr. A. "You know why I'm here, Leo."

"Is it Jackie and Hyde? About time man, I've been praying for someone to get em back together…seriously dude, the last several months have been weirder than hell, like we haven't been ourselves…damn, its like someone's been possessing us…whoa! Is that it?! Is there some conspiracy against us, man?? That would…"

"LEO!!!," Mr. A. shouted, "This is not the moment to discuss all your ridiculous theories! As for the kids, they…"

"YES!!!!! I KNEW THAT SOMEHOW…"

"LISTEN-TO-ME!!! They won't get back together."

Leo's heart sank. "Wh-, wh-, how…man, you…sur-, I don't-…how are ya sure? You went to Eric a few years back and made him realize he still had feelings for his woman."

Mr. A. looked grave, "That may have been a mistake. It's true that I have the ability to predict things that happen, but they're not always correct. I should have realized then that Eric and Donna would've found their way back to each other no matter what…and so they've done a second time, tonight. But more importantly, it's obvious now that the ones who needed the most guidance were Steven and Jackie. I can only travel to Earth every so often and appear before people, but when I had my opportunity a few years ago, I figured Eric was the one who needed help…and I was wrong. The young lovers who both grew up in broken homes were the ones who needed help, but I didn't realize it…I figured they weren't the ones meant to lead this group, but they WERE, Leo. Jackie and Steven were meant to give each other the greatest sort of love unlike any ever seen and give everyone in their lives hope of the greatest kind…but now," he sighed ruefully, "it can't happen…"

"That's not true!" Leo shouted. "You're lying!! You expect me to believe that, man?!?! You know their histories; what's happened to them, to each other…it's more tragic than Romeo and Juliet! If you're sayin you don't wanna help..."

"Leo, it has nothing to do with how much I want to help. Well…look closely, for yourself…"

Leo focused his eyes, tapping into a skill he'd learned a long time ago during his world travels. With this, he could see any person he thought of, regardless of distance or barriers. He'd been using it all night and throughout the last several days to view Jackie and Steven, but what he saw now nearly made him faint. Over the past hour, the two had been in tears as their emotions came at full force…but now all that was beginning to slow down. Leo could see their tear stained faces, sense their breathing was becoming shallow and their hearts were barely beating. _"Oh God, no –" _he thought, devastation sweeping over him.

Mr. A. told him what he already knew: "They're dying, Leo. This world has all become too much for them. They've wondered why they haven't had strength to so much as stand, well this is why."

Leo sat on the pavement, took off his glasses and covered his eyes. To him, hearing this was all for nothing; it'd be easier to handle had he not been told. Slowly, he turned back to the angel. "Please man, tell me this isn't how it ends…these two kids, they deserve a chance to live, to have the live they've always wanted."

"I'm not of this world anymore, there's nothing I can do…but you can."

"But how?"

"You learned the power of time reversal in your youth," replied Mr. A. "Now's as good of time as any to use it."

"Yeah, but I never did anything like that…to send two people back at once their minds have to be the same page, man – I dunno, since they haven't been on good…"

"Their thoughts tell everything…its all inside their thoughts."

Leo shut his eyes…opening them revealed a strange white void spread across the ground. It contained a vision shared by Jackie and Steven…Leo could see a football stadium at night, filled with people and glowing lights. And there at the west side center field entrance were Jackie and Steven, or rather their younger selves. "Whoa…they never told me they met at a football game, when was this?"

"Friday, November 8th, 1975…7:05 P.M.," Mr. A. answered, as though reading from a book.

"You know just by lookin at it, man?"

Mr. A. chuckled, "As you pointed out, I know their histories…now, you have something you can use. Reverse everything back to that morning…Jackie will wake up in her bedroom at her parents' house…leave Steven where he is, the Formans' will have already taken him in."

"And they won't remember a thing?" asked Leo.

"Nothing at all. Their physical and mental selves are too far gone at this point to be sent back…it wouldn't be a good idea anyway, this isn't a time travel journey. The only change within the kids when they wake up is that their hearts will remain intact…that's the part of them you will be sending back in time. And we don't have many minutes here to waste…hurry Leo!"

The hippie increased the size of the white void on the ground. It spread across in all directions and the image within changed. Now it showed the town of Point Place, Wisconsin as the sun rose on a beautiful fall morning four years ago. "Now for the final step…here goes nothin man…" Leo held out both hands and made the void envelop all around him. He saw the sleeping spirits of the kids disappear into the white light. "Jackie…Steven…Good luck, I'll see ya soon dudes." He turned back to Mr. A. "Will I remember anything?"

"Not a thing," the angel answered.

"Oh okay," Leo was quiet for a moment, before he became genuinely confused, "Sorry man, what?"

Mr. A. laughed, "Yes, you definitely won't remember a thing. Well Leo, this is where we separate…I'm heading to another dimension, my time of watching over Earth is done, far more interesting places await. But I have to say…young Miss Burkhart and Mister Hyde have this only one chance; once this new timeline gets started, there's no way to stop it…you'll no longer have the power of time reversal. But your heart, your caring for the kids will remain…watch over them."

"I understand…I will," said Leo nodding. And then the two men, though one was only spirit, shook hands.

"Goodbye old friend," said Mr. A. "We'll meet again in the next world and we'll have a chance to catch up on things…I wish you luck."

"Thanks man. Tell Morrison I said hey, alright?"

The angel nodded giving a salute, and Leo returned it as he watched Mr. A. disappear.

Leo felt his eyes getting heavy as the void swept across the Earth completely resetting time. He knew it would be weird that when he woke up, he'd be in his bed four years in the past and he'd have no memory of what happened. It would be over a year before he saw the kids again. "_Still_,"the hippie thought, "_we're all gonna enjoy another long strange trip._"

**A/N: Leo's words say it all. From here on out, this story will be an alternate universe which starts six months before the show's timeline began. You might wonder why I didn't start with the AU from the beginning, but I wanted to have a way to cancel out season 8 permanently and have a little fourth wall breaking joke. As for the angel who appeared to Eric in season 4, I figured it'd be stupid to call him "the angel" or something, so I decided on Mr. A. A sort of backstory I've thought of but didnt get into, is that in the past he knew Leo, like they communicated with each other in a 1960's hippie seance and things like that. I wrote Leo as being more aware of things which is very strange but then again, we really don't know a lot about him...except that he knew Jim Morrison, LOL. I'm going to include ****more of his character ****in the rest of the story. I hope I didn't do too badly with this chapter…did I? Next chapter: 16 year old Steven Hyde awakens.**


	6. Awaken Steven Hyde

**A/N: The really angsty parts are behind us at last. Let the AU begin! It opens six months before the show's timeline…which was May 17, 1976. One change I've made so far is that Steven will already be living with the Formans'…figured from the standpoint of where this fic is going that it'd be easier, so…he's taken up residence in the basement earlier then on the show. From here on out, there will be a few of the show's more classic moments included, but mostly there will be completely new storylines and perhaps a few new characters. The story will now be told from the characters' point of view. Mostly from Jackie and Steven, as they're the focal point of all this. Also, as far as the entire years issue the show had (that is, the fact that over three seasons of the show took place in 1978 and the gang were juniors in high school that entire time, yet someone were seniors for one season) that's not going to be done here. OK, that's about all. Hope you like this.**

**Point Place, Wisconsin**

**The Forman House**

**Friday November 8****th****, 1975**

**8:30 A.M.**

**Steven's P.O.V.**

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock, yawning. I reached over to shut it off, but strangely enough not in my usual bad mood where I wanna break the damn thing, pretending that it's my gym coach's head. Nah, today happens to be Point Place Founder's Day and that means no school today. No classes at the propaganda center that is public school. Still in my robe and sweatpants, I left my basement bedroom and walked upstairs to the kitchen for breakfast.

I'm really not the sort of guy to discuss my feelings, much less think about anything emotion-related; I'm Steven Hyde after all, its part of who I am I guess. But I'm grateful that the Forman family took me in after Edna split on me last summer. I don't even think of her as my mother…cause she certainly never took care of me or loved me; she gave birth to me and that's all…as far as I'm concerned, I don't have a mother. I'd been living with the Formans' a few weeks when I learned she was shot and killed during a drug deal, and she wasn't the only one. Turns out Bud, my good for nothing…father in name only…was there too, and he bit the dust. I can honestly say I felt nothing when I learned they'd died. I didn't care, not after all the pain they caused me… they were just two random people who died, and I was only informed by the cops because we shared the same last name and were "family". Honestly, an enormous weight was lifted from my shoulders learning they were gone…they couldn't put me through shit anymore, but that hasn't stopped the pain of my childhood memories.

I feel at home with my new family, after all I've been friends with Red and Kitty Forman's son Eric (who's my age, sixteen) for ten years. Mr. and Mrs. Forman may be kinda old, but they're cool…they've looked out for me since I was a little kid and were always more than happy to let me stay for dinner, especially Kitty. I've spent a lot of time at their house over the last decade, but now as far as they're concerned, I'm officially part of their family. I dunno what to make of all of all this…sure, I appreciate all they've done, but I feel like, maybe it's too late for me. I didn't get the sort of care from them that Eric got. And I'll be able to live on my own in a few years; I know how to take care of myself. But maybe I'm just fooling myself…I know deep down I want to have a family…to tell them they ARE my family, but I feel like I'm cursed. I've sort of learned to not get my hopes up about good things happening and to leave things as they are. I've got good people who are willing to let me live with them, and that's great. Part of me figures, "why complicate things by getting closer to them, you have bad luck as it is"…but the other says "you know what you want…nothing will ever change if you don't do anything." I just don't know what to do. I still feel like a scared little kid…I don't know if I can change my life on my own. If only I knew someone who's been through what I've been through; that would make all this easier

I reached the kitchen, where Mrs. Forman was cooking breakfast and Eric and his sister Laurie were already sitting at the table where I joined them. Laurie, at age eighteen, has gotta be the most infamous skank in the entire state…weird, usually you have to be over twenty one to gain that title.

Laurie greeted me with, "Morning, orphan."

"Good morning…" I drawled, pouring myself a glass of orange juice.

She looked as though she'd won. "That's all you've got?"

"…whore." I added, trying not to laugh.

That really got Eric going. "Delayed retort, good one Hyde."

"Mom!" Laurie yelled in a mock childish voice, "He called me a whore!"

Kitty served us plates filled with pancake faces. "Steven," she told me, "it's not polite to say things that are…" she whispered the last two words in my ear, "so truthful." I smiled, glad to know we had the same opinion.

Laurie finished a cup of coffee, grabbed her purse, and made for the sliding glass door, "I won't be eating breakfast mom, I'm leaving now."

She hadn't even grabbed the handle when Mrs. Forman asked, "Just where are you going?"

"Out." The tried and true method of a vague response is Laurie's specialty.

"So I noticed." Kitty's eyes narrowed "Out where?"

There are a lot of people Laurie Forman can fool. Unfortunately, only for her, Mommy Dearest isn't one of them.

"A place."

"A 'place' where?"

I exchanged a grin with Eric. Hearing Laurie get interrogated is downright hilarious.

"It's none of your business where I go!" Laurie shrieked. "Dad never cares about where I go, he'd agree with me that I shouldn't have to answer all these damn questions!"

"Your father is out at the moment…and I know for a fact he won't let you go to a weekend fraternity retreat."

"UGH!!! Sometimes I really hate you!!!" Laurie left, slamming the glass door.

"Well that is just too bad, because I love you!" Kitty laughed in her usual laugh as she returned to her cooking. Then she frowned and gritted her teeth, "Because – I – Have – To."

I turned to my adoptive brother and laughed. "That, Forman is first rate breakfast entertainment. Happy Founder's Day to us!"

Eric smiled broadly. "Yes Yes!"

We clinked our juice glasses in a toast.


End file.
